


Permission

by intoapuddle



Series: Eight Days of Kink-o-Ween [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Feminization, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 06:16:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21174791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intoapuddle/pseuds/intoapuddle
Summary: Dan is unlike any guy Phil has met. Phil notices this because he isn't like other guys, either.





	Permission

Phil wakes up to the sight of Dan on the other side of the bed, holding a mirror up in front of his face. He watches as he applies the gloss with care and precision. His lashes have already been painted, pretty and long and black. Phil can tell even without his glasses on. Dan’s eyebrows are defined, sharpened, yet well suited to his soft features.

As Phil grabs his glasses, Dan glances his way. He gives a small, soft smile, almost asking permission.

Dan hasn’t been doing this for a long time. It is a fragile thing, something he told Phil about with his heart in his throat. The world around Phil is often blurry and overstimulating, but when it comes to Dan he somehow notices every little miniscule detail. Filtering the world out comes naturally. Dan takes centre stage. And so, Phil had realised just how important it was for him to shut up and let it be a serious moment, even if serious conversations between them are often made easier by joking.

Dan pops his lips together and flutters his eyelashes at himself in the mirror. He angles his face, pouting just slightly.

He isn’t doing anything extravagant, not yet. For the time being, Dan is testing the waters with mascara and lipgloss and eyebrow pencils. He trims his body hair, but he doesn’t fully remove it. He keeps from straightening his hair when he does this. Phil prefers the curls, regardless of Dan’s outward presentation.

When Dan first told him, it didn’t lead to much of anything. He felt too clumsy with it, too afraid. Instead, the extent to which they played around was underneath the covers, whispered words that were new and exciting.

Since Japan, it has escalated.

There was something about hanging out with Duncan and Mimei that made Dan feel comfortable with experimenting. It could have been due to the fact that Mimei was painting Duncan’s nails and putting blusher on his cheeks when they arrived at their flat that first night. Phil felt the change as soon as they laid their eyes on them, so comfortable together on the floor of their bedroom. There was no question of right or wrong. There was only excitement and colour in droves. By the end of that night, all four of them were wearing makeup.

It doesn’t mean the same thing to Phil as it does to Dan. There is a roar of shame settled deep in Dan’s stomach. It is so loud that Phil swears he can hear it.

He can see it in the stiff movement in Dan’s body as he puts away the mirror and stands up. He hasn’t put on clothes yet. There is something so striking about watching the lines and curves of Dan’s body, how delicate bleeds into firm, all made clearer through the simple act of deepening the colours on his face. When Dan opens the wardrobe, he glances back at Phil.

Phil, who is getting up from bed, putting on pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt, and leaving the room.

They take part in nearly every part of each other’s lives and Phil is certain that Dan doesn’t mind him having a louder presence in this part of it. It isn’t really about that, to Phil. He wants to allow Dan to explore this without someone hovering. 

Dan is unlike any guy Phil has met. He is funnier, smarter, more attractive, and more understanding than any _person_ Phil knows. There is another part, though. One that Phil has a hard time putting down in explicit terms. All Phil knows is that whatever it is, it mirrors himself. Because the reason why he notices how Dan is different from other guys is for the fact that he feels like he himself is different from other guys, too.

Sometimes, it is hard to recognise something until it appears in another person.

It isn’t about what clothes they put on. For Dan, walking into the living room wearing pink cotton sweatpants and a tight fitting white t-shirt means that he is allowing himself to do something harmless that he was told was wrong of him to want for his entire life. Even if it doesn’t mean he wants to do it all the time, there is a thrill in knowing he could.

That is why, as soon as Phil puts his coffee cup down, Dan straddles his lap, wraps his arms around Phil’s neck, and covers him in wet, warm kisses.

Allowing himself to be soft makes Dan feel strong. When it is the two of them, Dan is the strongest and the softest person. Phil recognises it because it mirrors himself.

“Fuck,” Dan breathes out, the moment Phil slides his hands underneath his sweatpants.

He grabs a two handfuls of Dan’s ass and kisses back with equal fervour. His lips taste sweet. He smells like flowers. 

They kiss and kiss and kiss until their clothes are pulled off and they go back to the bedroom just to get more room to roll around, to thrust at each other.

Dan ends up between Phil’s legs. Phil spreads them far apart and hooks his arms at the bend of his knees, pushing up so that Dan’s tongue can go as deep inside of him as it possibly could.

Phil leaks precum as Dan tonguefucks him.

“Fuck me,” Phil whines.

It doesn’t take much lube and fingering for Dan’s thick cock to sink inside.

Dan fucks him slowly. They are forehead to forehead, Phil’s legs wrapped around Dan’s hips. They rock together, exchanging quiet gasps and moans. Dan’s mascara streaks but the way it ends up shadowing his eyes make them look even deeper, even more beautiful than they are normally.

“I’m gonna fucking cum,” Dan laughs into Phil’s neck.

They don’t exactly accelerate and they don’t exactly go harder.

It is a slow build, each slow roll of Dan’s hips growing more desperate. The wet noise where their bodies meet fills the room. Phil is gonna fucking come, too.

“Baby,” Phil whispers.

Dan pulls back. His neck is shining with sweat, and his meticulous styling is long gone as his hair curls in every which direction. The look in Dan’s eyes tell Phil that he wants more, but that he is scared to ask.

Phil pulls Dan down closer. Dan goes even slower as he fucks him, only their top lips touching.

“Baby girl,” Phil sighs.

“Yeah?” Dan asks.

“Yeah,” Phil says.

Dan kisses him. He speeds up the pace.

“Cum in me,” Phil says.

Dan makes a quiet noise, but it manages to communicate the edge on which his body teeters as his hips stutter.

“Fuck me harder, baby.”

Dan’s breathing grows shallow, but he does as told.

“Fill me up with that pretty cum.”

Dan breathes a laugh.

“Oh, fuck,” he gasps.

Phil reaches down and pushes Dan harder into himself. Dan’s jaw goes slack, his eyes fall shut, and he smiles. Phil’s dick twitches as Dan groans through his orgasm, pumping it into Phil’s tight warmth until he is satisfied.

There is something about Dan going from pulling his cock out from inside of Phil to bending down to suck his cock. There is even something pretty about it, about the way that he licks the cockhead and leaves kisses along the shaft because he just loves to suck cock that much.

“Baby,” Phil groans.

The moan in return vibrates onto Phil’s cock and then there are two fingers pushing up inside him, touching the exact spot Phil wants touched.

Dan pulls off Phil’s cock, bottom lip wet and deep red.

“How do you want it?” Dan asks.

“Keep,” Phil is at a loss, waving uselessly, “doing that.”

Dan’s grin is filled with a childlike glee that makes Phil even more turned on as he matches it.

Dan slurps around Phil’s cock and wiggles his fingers inside him to the point where Phil is arching, voice going high, as he comes and comes down Dan’s wonderful, tight throat.

After the clean up, Phil makes Dan come again. It takes a while, but it is a special thing, to get to watch Dan flutter his long dark eyelashes as he breathes heavy breaths. It is a special thing to get to stroke him without intention but to end up with cum all over his knuckles regardless, mostly due to the fact that Phil calls him ‘pretty girl’ meanwhile.

It isn’t exactly about what the words mean. Girl, boy, woman, man. They don’t mean much of anything to Phil, or Dan, but to use them like that - like they don’t mean anything - is somehow the sexiest and most loving thing they can do. 

Calling Dan a girl feels just as correct or incorrect as it does to call him a boy.

Phil realises this because it applies to himself, too.

In these moments the turmoil is wiped away from Dan and there is only that smile that Phil can and will kiss for as long as he is allowed to. Dan doesn’t carry the turmoil alone - Phil feels the weight too. But there is weightlessness on the horizon as Dan starts to talk. He says all these things and uses all these words that he used to hate to say in reference to himself. There isn’t any shame behind them now. There is something empowering about how Dan practically spits them out, angry because he was made to feel like they were wrong.

Phil listens and kisses Dan’s naked shoulder..

Dan looks down at him and smiles, soft.

This time, it doesn’t ask for permission.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! <3
> 
> if you enjoyed, please share on [**twitter**](https://twitter.com/intoapuddle/status/1187827259589222400) and/or [**tumblr!**](https://intoapuddle.tumblr.com/post/188589905333/permission-explicit-16k-words-tags)
> 
> to the person that prompted this, thank you for always calling me out on incorrect tags ;>


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